Tag: cooking

TSM Book Club Book #21: Recipe for Persuasion by Sonali Dev

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Started: May 22nd
Finished: May 31st
TSM Rating: 4.5/5

It is only by pure coincidence that the last two books I picked up to the end of May featured protagonists struggling with mental health issues with varying degrees of severity. Both deal with heavy topics of suicide, depression, loss, drug abuse, and parental abandonment.

First up is Recipe for Persuasion, whose lead, Ashna Raje, spends her whole life doing what she can to make her father happy much to her own detriment. She also spends most of her life angry with her mother for abandoning her time after time.

On the brink of losing her restaurant, typically reserved Ashna, through some coaxing by her best friend and cousin, ends up a chef competing on a celebrity cooking show in order to win the money to save it. The show’s premise is to pair a professional chef with a celebrity, and much to her surprise, Ashna is paired with her high school sweetheart turned professional soccer player Rico Silva. For his part, Rico has his own struggles as he never really got over Ashna and the abrupt ending to their relationship. When we meet him, he has reached the point where he has to confront his past in order to move forward.

On top of all this, Ashna’s whirly-gig of a mother, Shobi has chosen this moment in Ashna’s life to come back and try to fix things with her. Ashna has spent her life building walls to protect herself from her mother bouncing in and out of her life. To protect herself from her parents’ fighting. Even when her father commits suicide, she builds walls around herself to keep herself protected from disappointment and disappointing.

Throughout the book, we see her struggle to maintain control over her life and struggle as she tries to be a stronger version of herself. She needs to be that version of herself as she confronts the past with Shobi and Rico.

Recipe… epitomizes the phrase, “Sometimes you have to go back to move forward.”

I loved it for how it examined mother-daughter relationships and even what it means to be a mother. Shobi’s struggle to find work-life balance and to reconcile her own feelings about being a mother and wife and what she was forced to give up to reclaim her independence.

This was the problem with motherhood, the part Shobhan didn’t understand — why did it have to be an all-or-nothing game? Weren’t mothers human?

Recipe for Persuasion, pg. 269-270

I also loved the depth of love Ashna and Rico have for each other, even after twelve years apart. Love, real love, can stand the test of time and distance. The word Dev uses over and over to describe how Ashna and Rico feel about each other is essential. I loved how perfectly and succinctly it sums up what they are to each other.

Sometimes when people leave you, you get so caught up in trying to convince yourself that you can cut them out of your life that you think you’ve actually figured it out. You keep moving. You ignore the feeling of being chased, even as you can’t stop running and running to get away. But then you realize that you haven’t moved on at all. Those who are essential to you have always been an absence. Even when you refused to acknowledge it, their void was always there.

Rico, Recipe for Persuasion, page 344

This was such a good read. Even with some of the darker themes, there was a lot of hope and love infused into the story. It should be noted that this is the second book in a series. I didn’t realize it until I started this one, but the stories are stand-alone. I’ve already added Pride, Prejudice, and Other Flavors (the books are Sonali Dev’s reimagining of Jane Austen classics).

Loud is Trouble; Quiet is Trouble

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What is it with kids and water? Something so simple can provide hours of entertainment…and this BEFORE they discover 20-foot high water slides.

Last night as I was working on my laptop and my husband was sitting in the office with me on his phone, we heard the water running. Then it stopped. Then little feet ran down the hallway. Then back. Then water. Then back. I think this happened about five times before hubby said, “What are they doing?” I replied, “I don’t know. I’m working. Why don’t you go check.”

Next thing I know, he’s back at the office door saying, “You’re the one who wanted them to have the toy kitchen; you get to clean this one up.” I rolled my eyes and went to the playroom. Our little cherubs took it upon themselves to fill the sink in their play kitchen with water. It took about fifteen minutes, a Tupperware container, and a turkey baster to get the mess sorted.

Then this evening, just to keep things spicy…J grabbed a large bottle of Italian seasoning and spread it ALL OVER the house. I must have left it on the lower counter, and he grabbed it while my back was turned. I didn’t realize he’d done it until I walked down the hall to collect C for dinner, and I couldn’t escape the scent of oregano. I tossed the toy room looking for the bottle. Then I notice piles going down the hallway and into the living room. J was hiding behind the couch with the empty bottle and a container of watermelon. Not really sure what kind of scenario required him to empty a completely full 6.25 oz bottle of seasoning.

I spent all tubby time vacuuming the playroom, the hallway, and the living room. You might or might not be surprised to hear that most of the bottle ended up between the center cushions of our couch that cover the pull-out.

Sometimes I wonder if they choose when to be ninjas and when to channel to elephant march from The Jungle Book. Yesterday, we heard the running water, the footsteps, and the giggles. This evening I heard NOTHING. I wasn’t playing a podcast or music as I often do most evenings. I was just focused on not burning the house down.🤷‍♀️

I’ve learned my lesson on vigilance. I must always be on at all times. Even when I’m trying to complete a simple task such as dinner.

Good God, no wonder I’m so tired all the time!

Well…Those Resolutions Were Short-Lived

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So…two of my resolutions are already out the window. I know it’s still January 1st, but I’ve already given up. Don’t judge me! Here’s what happened…

Resolution #1: Make healthier dietary choices.

After an early morning of cuddles and being climbed all over, because let’s be real, there is no sleeping in with toddlers. J declared that he was hungry and wanted pancakes. We all made our way to the kitchen. While hubby made eggs for C, I pulled out the pancake mix and a bowl. J wanted to help, so I scooped out a cup of mix, brought the bowl to his level, and handed him the measuring cup. He neatly dropped it in the bowl. We repeated the step with the water and mixing. Then I asked if he wanted chocolate chips in them, and of course, he said yes. He’s a toddler; there was no chance the answer was going to be no.

With the batter mixed, we heat and butter the pan. He adds the batter — when I can, I let the boys cook; I’m raising them to be self-sufficient — and we wait for the pancakes to reach the appropriate flipping doneness. Once they were ready, he had two yummy chocolate chip pancakes. There was enough better for two more pancakes…and there went my first resolution.

I know what you might be thinking, “Two chocolate chip pancakes to celebrate the start of the new year isn’t so bad” or “You still had better left, you were trying no to be wasteful.” Reader, you would be right on both accounts. And it would have been fine had I stopped there. After breakfast, hubby ran to Home Depot to grab hooks we need for a basement organization project. I put The Grinch on for the kids, because they are still feeling the Christmas spirit — C asked to see Santa today — and went to my bedroom to fold laundry and watch The Woman King. Clearly, I’m done with Christmas. I got about two minutes in before the kids came running in for help with turning on the giant piano mat my youngest brother got them for Christmas. Fun fact, FAO Schwarz makes toys; I thought it was a dead brand. The more you know.🤷🏽‍♀️

The interruptions kept coming, and I kept pausing the movie. Then J pooped, and we got into a fight while I tried to clean his bum because he REFUSED to stay still. By the time we finished, I needed chocolate. He chased me down the hall crying as I went to toss the diaper and go down to the basement to pull chicken from the freezer. I closed the door behind me so he couldn’t follow. It may sound like I was overreacting to my kid wanting me, but this is also the kid that woke me up and tried to drag me out of bed at 6 AM to turn on Spidey and his Amazing Friends in the playroom.

Hubby came back as I went downstairs, so he picked up a crying J and gave him a hug. On my way back to my bedroom to restart my movie — which I found out hubby turned off in favor of the Patriots game — I grabbed two Lindt milk chocolate balls only for C to catch me in the act of eating the first one and subsequently start cry when I pop the second one in my mouth. I know, I’m an asshole.

J soon realized that I had chocolate, slid out of his father’s lap and declare that he wanted chocolate too. I told the boys if they gave each other a hug — since I’d managed to upset them both AND I’m trying to teach them to lean on each other during the tough time — they’d each get a chocolate. They did. They both got a chocolate ball, I gave one to hubby and ate two more myself. SEE resolution is all shot to hell!

Resolution #2: Yell less; give “gentle parenting” a fighting chance.

My boys are not built for gentle parenting. I’m not built for gentle parenting. That’s not true. I’m not built for sustained gentle parenting.

J — today really wasn’t a good day for he and I — declared he wanted a cookie while we were watching the Pats game — I wasn’t super upset that my movie had been turned off; I love the Pats, they’ve just broken my heart a lot this season. I said, we don’t have any cookies. A few minutes later my very capable 2.5 year old came back with a Tupperware container of leftover cookies from holiday baking we’d done that I’d completely forgotten about. I had a cookie, C grabbed a cookie, J took two cookies.

Halftime hits and hubby heads to the basement to organization project started. I’m lying in the middle of our bed and J is behind me. I get up to head to the bathroom only to turn around and see that J has DECIMATED a gingerbread cookie on our bed. He ground it into a FINE dust of gingerbready goodness. I let out a frustrated scream, kicked him off the bed, and grabbed the dustbuster. I also had to tell him to take off his pants because they were covered with gingerbread dust.

This was not a gentle parenting moment. There were no calm words. There was only “why did you just do that?”, “get off the bed and take of your pants!”, “don’t come back up here!” yelling moments. I commend parents who are fully committed to gentle parenting and make it work for them. I have toddlers who talk back and give me evil laughs when they do something wrong.

I’m starting to think that they find my emotional outbursts funny, though. This morning C kept playing with the Santa salt and pepper shakers that I haven’t decommissioned yet. I told him sternly but calmly — before I gave up on gentle parenting — to put them back and leave them alone. He said, “Are you mad?” I replied, “No, but I would like you to listen when I tell you to do something.” He asked me if I was mad twice more, then I gave in and made an angry face, which got an uproarious chuckle from him.

I give up. I’m just going to sit in a corner and eat chocolate for the rest of the year. Catch y’all in 2024 when I start from scratch again if diabetes doesn’t set in and remove me from this mortal coil!

Happy New Year!!🎊 May you have better luck with your resolutions than I did.😳

Balance is the Key to Everything…

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the fact of the matter is babies change everything. What once was a clean house with beautiful things soon becomes the most expensive toy box ever. We are constantly putting away toys, which are immediately taken out and thrown into different areas of the house. The other day, I found one of my son’s number blocks behind the rocking chair in his room. The rest of the blocks? They were in his playroom on the other side of the house!

Working with your partner is the key to keeping your sanity on the days when you’ve just about had it with the rest of the world. Sometimes even trying to work with your partner is a pain in the neck. There will come a day when you will argue over dishes, folding the laundry, or even whose turn it is to change the poop diaper. I personally think serving as the kid’s toilet for nine months should get moms a pass on poop diapers…that might just be me, though.

No one ever really wins in the battle over chores. Inevitably, someone ends up angrily doing dishes, wishing there was a way to 1. slam the dishes without breaking them and 2. slam the dishes without waking the walking, talking, eating, pooping tornado that is your toddler. Smothering your spouse with a pillow is also not an option (there are no show tunes in prison).

It’s our prerogative as moms to ensure the little sh*t gets done. The food gets put away, the stove gets wiped down, and everyone is tucked in all snug for the night. We just can’t do it alone. It doesn’t matter if you stay at home or work; everyone needs help.

As we continue this crazy routine called adulthood and parenting, you must continue working hard to find the balance. It’s not easy. Nothing ever is. It’s also not a constant. The only constant in life is change. As we change, we must adjust our stance on the tightrope to keep our balance.

All we can do is try. Try not to kill each other. Try to keep all the toys in the toy box, or at the very least, in the same freaking room. And make our very best love our kids with everything we have. Like my BFF4L (best friend for life) keeps telling me: keep having the hard conversations, and we’ll find the right balance for everything.