I’m a stubborn woman. I know this about myself. It’s a truth I accepted at a very young age. Sometimes (read: often), I lean into my stubbornness very hard. It didn’t come as any shock that both my children have a stubborn streak about five miles wide and infinitely long. When they hunker down, it becomes a battle of wills.
We argue about everything, from eating the food they ASKED FOR to putting on their shoes and coats. Last week I took my two-year-old to the library for story time with the librarian. He quickly tapped out of that, opting to play in the kids’ area instead. I was actually ok with that. I’d rather him do something he likes and keeps him from having an utter meltdown. That kid was blessed with some PIPES. We hung out, did some puzzles, and played games, but after two hours, I was ready to tap out. He flat-out refused to leave, and he also refused to put his coat back on. We live in the Northeast. It was cold, and he needed a coat.
“I don’t need a coat right now.” Those were his exact words to me. He’s two. TWO. After multiple attempts to get his coat on, I gave up that fight. Every time I said, “Ok, it’s time to go.” He would reply, “No, I’m running away!” and proceed to do just that. Eventually, I said fuck it to decorum, threw him over my shoulder, and fireman carried him out of the library.
When my four-year-old was in the “terrible twos” phase, he would just hunker down and stare at me. And I would always break before he did. The kid has an epic poker face. Now when I ask him to do something, he immediately says, “No! I’m angry!” While we’re glad he’s being more expressive with his language, one time, it would be nice if he said, “Ok” or “Sure, Mama!”
It’s really the running away that kills me. No…it’s the covering me with kisses and asking me if I’m ok when they won’t do what I ask, and my ears start steaming like a Looney Toons character. Once, a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, my husband called me the most patient person he’s ever met and said that would come in handy when we had kids. Boy, do my sons test the limits of that patience every day.
Every time I get into a battle of wills with my toddlers, I realize that this is what it must feel like when I dig my heels in. I know my stubbornness is one of my flaws. I do my best not to dig in as hard now as I did when I was younger and admit to being wrong…on occasion. I hope I can teach my boys the humility that comes with admitting when you are wrong. For now, though, I will take my kicks from karma because I am sure I did something along the way to deserve it…
The Saucy Mama 