Tag: life-life balance

Tiiiiiiiiiimmmmeee ISN’T On My Side, No It Isn’t

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What is free time? I have no idea anymore. At any point during the day when I’m not working, cooking, or cleaning, my time is occupied by the boys. I don’t know why I thought about this the other day, but I don’t think I ever really appreciated all the free time I had when I was single.

I’ve always been a homebody, no question, but there were times when I would get the itch to grab my camera and explore the world around me. When I lived in New York, I’d hop on the train and get off at a random stop and walk around. Take in the sights, smells, and sounds.

When I moved back Boston, I’d hop on my bike and ride down all the streets I grew up just passing by and really saw the city where I lived.

When I was single, I read all the time too. I finished the first book in the Game of Thrones series in ONE DAY. Now it takes me five days to complete books that are a third of the length. I miss being able to move about the world on my own without having to make sure the diaper bag is stocked and negotiating behavior before going into a store. I miss being able to spend all day reading if I want to.

I haven’t explored the world with my camera in a long time, but I do take pictures of my boys almost every day. I get to see our little bubble world through their eyes, and it’s just as cool. Some days, a little bit cooler than people-watching in Central Park.

As for reading — and writing these blog posts — I do them in what I call the “in-between times.” In between arriving at an OT appointment and leaving or swim lessons. While I watch them in the bathtub, while I’m waiting for a pan to warm up. Those are the little moments I take for myself. It’s not a lot, but time isn’t on my side.

Not a lot of time for myself. Not a lot of time to run errands. Not a lot of time to kiss their chubby little feet before they become massive sweaty feet.

I think we could all use a little bit more time.

Balance is the Key to Everything…

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the fact of the matter is babies change everything. What once was a clean house with beautiful things soon becomes the most expensive toy box ever. We are constantly putting away toys, which are immediately taken out and thrown into different areas of the house. The other day, I found one of my son’s number blocks behind the rocking chair in his room. The rest of the blocks? They were in his playroom on the other side of the house!

Working with your partner is the key to keeping your sanity on the days when you’ve just about had it with the rest of the world. Sometimes even trying to work with your partner is a pain in the neck. There will come a day when you will argue over dishes, folding the laundry, or even whose turn it is to change the poop diaper. I personally think serving as the kid’s toilet for nine months should get moms a pass on poop diapers…that might just be me, though.

No one ever really wins in the battle over chores. Inevitably, someone ends up angrily doing dishes, wishing there was a way to 1. slam the dishes without breaking them and 2. slam the dishes without waking the walking, talking, eating, pooping tornado that is your toddler. Smothering your spouse with a pillow is also not an option (there are no show tunes in prison).

It’s our prerogative as moms to ensure the little sh*t gets done. The food gets put away, the stove gets wiped down, and everyone is tucked in all snug for the night. We just can’t do it alone. It doesn’t matter if you stay at home or work; everyone needs help.

As we continue this crazy routine called adulthood and parenting, you must continue working hard to find the balance. It’s not easy. Nothing ever is. It’s also not a constant. The only constant in life is change. As we change, we must adjust our stance on the tightrope to keep our balance.

All we can do is try. Try not to kill each other. Try to keep all the toys in the toy box, or at the very least, in the same freaking room. And make our very best love our kids with everything we have. Like my BFF4L (best friend for life) keeps telling me: keep having the hard conversations, and we’ll find the right balance for everything.