Pee, poop, drool, puke. These are a few of my least favorite things about being a mom. My husband would tell you I’m lying about the poop because I would get excited in the first few weeks of our son’s life if he pooped. All you mamas know that your little pooping is a sign of good health. My husband thought I was full of, well, poop.
Either way…bodily fluids are the gross part of parenting.
The first person my son peed on was his dad. It was a funny miracle because he completely missed his diaper and got it all on my husband. I laughed. A lot.
I did not laugh when he peed on me the first time, mostly because I was dressed for work and had to change my clothes.
The pediatrician called my son a “happy spitter,” which means that the copious amounts of puke that came out of his mouth were fine because he was gaining weight. Thankfully, he is out of this happy spitting phase, but it does make me wonder how much he would actually weigh if he had kept all his food in his body. Now I’m wondering if breastfeeding would have been so miserable if he’d kept his food down…
Once you get used to the pee, poop, and puke, the drooling starts. Drooling is the rudest of fluids. It is non-stop. It makes everything slimy. Between a bib, tissues, and my shirt, I’m a human napkin.
One day he’ll be old enough to clean himself, and I may miss using my good sweater to wipe his nose — don’t even get me started on the snot! — but for now, I’m at the beck and call of all his orifices.
The Saucy Mama 